I'm been feeling a bit depressed today, I didn't want to post this on facebook or my website because I still use DA journals to vent a lot of my personal feelings, we're all artists here, so there's no one else that can understand my feelings the most than my fellow comrades at DA
Ever since I started to go public and share my videos with the world on how to paint and build gk's, I've gained certain "popularity" because from what I've observed, only just a handful of gk builders like to share their experience with people outside the community and just keep it to themselves or gk buddies.
I've done my best to convey my knowledge into all these videos, trying to do what I wish I would have been able to get when I started building, which was all the information in a single place without having to scramble all over the web to gain just a little grain of knowledge here and there.
Last week, a gk builder from France decided to tear me a new one, all because I told a person who commented on his gallery entry that the figure in the pictures was a prepainted figure that he may have repainted or repaired, as there was no description on the gallery itself and it let to believe that it was a GK.
This person believed that I insulted him, for whatever unknown reason, he lashed at me, and pretty much told me that he and the rest of the GK builders from the French community though that I was a bad person because I had declared myself a know-it-all and GK queen because of my videos and tutorials.
I was a bit shocked, this person said that I looked down on other gk builders because if it wasn't my work then it wasn't good...
Now I do forget somethings, but I would have remembered clearly if I ever talked down on another artist because it was not "my perfect work", but I've never had done it, that's the part the shocked me the most.
It was clear that this person loathed me and then another of his friends came in to add another insult and patting the other guy on the back for "putting me in my place".
I really don't know what's wrong with these people, the only thing I was able to notice was that many of the people from France don't care to learn English, and that's ok, but if you don't know the language and try to use an online translator, there are bound to appear a lot of things that don't make sense, if these people along with the rest that say that I'm this horrible person, use an online translator, they're misunderstanding a lot of things and imagining things in their heads.
I left it alone the next day because we still exchanged messages throughout the day, obviously not being able to understand half of what the person tried to say and guessing that he was misunderstanding my words even further for not having someone there to tell him that I never said anything bad about his work or his person.
It's clear that this French community of GK builders has this grudge against me just because they don't understand English, misunderstand me and just decide to judge me and say that I'm a bad person.
So I decided to block that country from viewing my facebook page, I wish I was able to do the same thing on youtube, but I can't do it at the moment...
It makes me really wonder, I give out all this information for free, and the thing I get in return is judgement, false accusations and just a bad rap for helping the community out, I say for free, because the only other tutorials you will see online will be from people selling them at $30-$50 dollars just so you can learn how to paint your own kits, I've come to understand that people are ingrates and other gk modelers will lash at me because to them, I'm the one in the spot light and they don't like it, well, NEWS FLASH! Everybody can start making their own videos and put themselves out there in public just like me, but they decide not to do it.
This whole situation got me thinking... is it still worth it to keep doing my videos and showing people who to do things?
Is it worth being "the popular one" in exchange for the rest of the gk community to look down on me because they feel that their work is inferior to mine because of so many people commenting and praising my videos?
Ever since I started my channel and gotten more subscribers, the members in my gk community have pushed me away, ignoring me, not commenting on things, just passing me for a ghost whenever I leave a message in the forums...
It actually does hurt, to not be acknowledged most of the times by your own colleagues, sure... the fans are always there, they say... but being pushed away from the very people you started with is heartbreaking...
Makes me wonder....
journal skin by sihi-chan